Short Cuts Lead To Trouble

Bob Harris, weatherman for NY TV station WPIX-TV and the nationally syndicated independent Network news, had to weather a public storm of his own making in 1979. Though he had studied math, physics and geology at three colleges, he left school without a degree but with a strong desire to be a media weatherman.

He phoned WCBS-TV, introducing himself as a Ph.D. in geophysics from Columbia U. The phony degree got him in the door. After a two-month tryout, he was hired as an off-camera forecaster for WCBS. For the next decade his career flourished. He became widely known as "Dr. Bob." He was also hired by the New York Times as a consulting meteorologist. The same year both the Long Island Railroad and then Baseball Commissioner Bowie Kuhn hired him. Forty years of age and living his childhood dream, he found himself in public disgrace and national humiliation when an anonymous letter prompted WCBS management to investigate his academic credentials. Both the station and the New York Times fire him.

His story got attention across the land. He was on the Today Show, the Tomorrow Show, and in People Weekly, among others. He thought he'd lose his home and never work in the media again. Several days later the Long Island Railroad and Bowie Kuhn announced they would not fire him. Then WNEW-TV gave him a job. He admits it was a dreadful mistake on his part and doubtless played a role in his divorce. "I took a shortcut that turned out to be the long way around, and one day the bill came due. I will be sorry as long as I am alive."

- Nancy Shulins, Journal News, Nyack, NY

True Forgiveness For Those Who Humble Themselves

Mark Strand tells of an experience that occurred following his first year of college.  His dad and mom had left for vacation, and Mark wrecked their pickup truck, crumpling the passenger-side door.  Returning home, he parked the truck.  When his dad returned home and saw the damage, Mark acted surprised and denied any knowledge of the accident.  Mr. Strand then asked the hired man about it, and to Mark's delight, the man admitted he was responsible.  He had heard a loud noise while passing the truck with the wings of the cultivator up, and now he assumed he had caused the damage.

But the weeks that followed were torturous as Mark struggled with his guilty conscience.  He repeatedly considered telling the truth, but was afraid.  Finally one day he impulsively blurted it out.

"Dad, there's something I need to tell you."

"Yes?"

"You know that pickup door?  I was the one who did it."

Dad looked at me.  I looked back at him.  For the first time in weeks I was able to look him in the eyes as the topic was broached.  To my utter disbelief, Dad calmly replied, "I know."

Silent seconds, which seemed like hours, passed.  Then dad said, "Let's go eat."  He put his arm around my shoulder, and we walked to the house, not saying another word about it.  Not then, not ever.

- Mark Strand, "I Couldn't Forget That Door," Decision (December 1996)

Can't Hide The Truth

A man is sitting in his armchair when his wife comes up behind him and hits him over the head with a frying pan.

"What was that for?" he exclaims.

"I found a note in your trousers saying 'Gloria, 3:00 pm.'"

The husband quickly explains, "Gloria is the name of a horse that was running at 3:00 pm and I did not want to forget."

The wife apologizes and they make up.

A few days later, he is sitting there again when she comes and hits him with an even bigger frying pan and knocks him out cold.  When he comes round he exclaims, "What was that for?"

She replies, "Your horse just called."

- Craig A. Smith, Sermon Illustrations For An Asian Audience (OMF Literature, Inc, 2004)