When You Don't Make Divorce An Option

Jill Briscoe, author, speaker, and pastor's wife, writes that one of the things her parents did right was to maintain their commitment to each other without ever considering divorce as an option.  She writes, "My sister and I knew that Mom and Dad enjoyed being married, would stay married, and hoped we'd do the same.  Differences they had were kept between them and worked out in the context of the promises they made to each other and to God on their wedding day.  There was no option out!  As someone has said, when the doors on a marriage are shut and bolted and a fire breaks out, all your time and energy goes to putting out the flames."

- Jill Briscoe, "A Foundation for Faith," What My Parents Did Right, comp. and ed. Gloria Gaither (StarSong Publishing Group, 1991)

Incompatibility? Really???

On his April 2, 1979 radio broadcast, Paul Harvey, amazement in his voice, reported that Romeo Bitencourt of Porto Alegre, Brazil, had just been granted a divorce.

Romeo was a Brazilian farmer.

He was ninety years old, had been married sixty-five years, had twelve children, fifty grandchildren, and thirty-six great-grandchildren.

The reason given for the divorce?

"Incompatibility."

- quoted by Robert J. Morgan, Preacher's Sourcebook of Creative Sermon Illustrations (Thomas Nelson, 2007)

You Contribute To Your Situation

A man named Joe had just about had it with his wife of three years.  He no longer thought of her as attractive or interesting; he considered her to be a poor housekeeper who was overweight, someone he no longer wanted to live with. Joe was so upset that he finally decided on divorce.  But before serving her the papers, he consulted with a psychologist to find out how to make life as difficult as possible for his wife.

The psychologist, after listening to Joe's story, gave this advice, "Well, Joe, I think I've got the perfect solution for you.  Here's what I want you to do.  Starting tonight when you get home, I want you to start treating your wife as if she were a goddess.  That's right, a goddess.  I want you to change your attitude toward her 180 degrees.  Start doing everything you can to please her.  Listen intently to her when she talks about her problems, help around the house, take her out to dinner on weekends. I want you to literally pretend that she's a goddess.  Then, after two months of this wonderful behavior, just pack your bags and leave her.  That should get to her!"

Joe thought it was a tremendous idea.  That night he started treating his wife as if she were a goddess.  He couldn't wait to do things for her.  He brought her breakfast in bed and had flowers delivered to her for no apparent reasons. Within three weeks the two of them had gone on two romantic weekend vacations.  They read books to each other at night, and Joe listened to her as never before.  It was incredible what Joe was doing for his wife.  He kept it up for two full months.  After the allotted time, the psychologist gave Joe a call at work.

"Joe," he asked, "how's it going?  Did you file for divorce?  Are you a happy bachelor once again?"

"Divorce?" asked Joe in dismay.  "Are you kidding?  I'm married to a goddess.  I've never been happier in my life!"

- Ted W. Engstrom, The Fine Art of Friendship (Thomas Nelson, 1985)