It's Difficult To Find Anything When You're Drunk

The defense attorney for a drunk driver was asking all the right questions. The arresting officer had testified that the defendant, when asked to produce his car registration, had fumbled around endlessly in the glove compartment.

“But it was dark, was it not?” asked the lawyer.

“Yes,” said the policeman.

“Was the glove compartment cluttered?”

“Yes.”

“How long did he fumble around there?”

“Maybe five minutes,” responded the officer.

“Well,” continued the attorney, “do you find it unusual that a man would take his time looking in a dark and cluttered glove compartment for a small piece of paper?”

“Yes,” replied the officer. “He was sitting in my patrol car at the time.”

- Dan Rodricks in Baltimore, Sunday Sun Magazine, quoted in Reader’s Digest, October 1982

Brothers In Arms

Jim McNulty is a detective constable in Scotland.  He went online one day to report that a London officer had been killed in the line of duty and two others injured.  On reading this, comrades from other countries wondered why bulletproof vests hadn't worked.  McNulty explained that the government doesn't provide vests for police officers in Great Britain. 

Las Vegas Police Lt. Dennis Cobb immediately responded via email offering his spare vest.  Within days McNulty was deluged with messages from police all over United States and Canada offering their vests, which were due for replacement but still effective.  A few weeks later, an initial shipment of 30 vests was transported free of charge to London's Heathrow.  Since news of the program broke, thousands more vests have been sent to Britain.

McNulty said, "All the officers here are absolutely astounded at the lengths their fellow officers in the United States have gone to for them."

- Michele D. Kinnamon, CompuServe Magazine