Perfectly Unforgettable

One pouring night a man ducked into a taxi that happened to come along just as he walked out of his office.

"Perfect timing," said the cabbie.  "You're like Harold."

"Who?" the man asked.

"Harold Curry," the driver said.  "A most memorable character.  He did everything right.  Like this cab coming along when you needed it.  That's exactly what would have happened to Harold.  He was always right."

The man responded, "Nobody's that perfect."

The cab driver went on, "He was a great athlete. He played tennis and golf like a pro and was a superb dancer.  Harold never forgot birthdays and anniversaries.  He knew which fork to use and how to taste wine.  He was also a great handyman.  He could fix anything.  Me?  I'm all thumbs."

Soon they reached the man's destination.  "That Harold was quite a guy," he said, stepping out of the cab.  "No wonder he's your most unforgettable character."

As the driver made change for the man he said, "He'd be yours too, if you married his widow."

- Steve May, The Story File (Hendrickson Publishers, 2000)

The Problem with Pre-mature Judgment

A grocery store cashier wrote to advice columnist Ann Landers to complain that she had seen people buy birthday cakes and bags of shrimp with their food stamps. people on welfare who treated themselves to such nonnecessities were “lazy and wasteful,” the writer said.

A few weeks later, Landers’ column was devoted entirely to responses to that letter.
One woman wrote, “I didn’t buy a cake, but I did buy a big bag of shrimp with food stamps. So what? My husband had been working at a plant for fifteen years when it shut down. The shrimp casserole I made was for our wedding anniversary dinner and lasted three days. Perhaps the grocery clerk who criticized that woman would have a different view of life after walking a mile in my shoes.”

Another woman wrote, “I’m the woman who bought the $17 cake and paid for it with food stamps. I thought the checkout woman in the store would burn a hole through me with her eyes. What she didn’t know is the cake was for my little girl’s birthday. It will be her last. She has bone cancer and will probably be gone within six to eight months.”

You never know what other people are dealing with.

 — Terrie Williams, 
The Personal Touch (Warner, 1994)