Joy That Was Hard Won

Honesty is always the best policy, especially when you are surrounded by women in a restroom during a break at a Christian women’s conference. One woman, putting on lipstick, said, “Oh, Joni, you always look so together, so happy in your wheelchair. I wish that I had your joy!” Several women around her nodded. “How do you do it?” she asked as she capped her lipstick.

“I don’t do it,” I said. “May I tell you honestly how I woke up this morning?

“This is an average day. After my husband, Ken, leaves for work at 6:00 a.m., I’m alone until I hear the front door open at 7:00 a.m. That’s when a friend arrives to get me up. While she makes coffee, I pray, ‘Lord, my friend will soon give me a bath, get me dressed, sit me up in my chair, brush my hair and teeth, and send me out the door. I don’t have the strength to face this routine one more time. I have no resources. I don’t have a smile to take into the day. But you do. May I have yours? God, I need you desperately.’ ”

“So what happens when your friend comes into the bedroom?” one of them asked.

“I turn my head toward her and give her a smile sent straight from heaven. It’s not mine; it’s God’s.” I point to my paralyzed legs. “Whatever joy you see today was hard won this morning.”

I have learned that the weaker we are, the more we need to lean on God; and the more we lean on God, the stronger we find him to be.

 — Joni Eareckson Tada, “Joy Hard Won,” Decision (March 2000)