Too Much Explanation

A little boy ran into the living room where his father was reading.  "Dad, where did I come from?"

The boy's mother cleared her throat and excused herself to let Father answer this long-feared question.  Father cleared his throat and went through a long, careful explanation of how children are born.

When he was finally through, Junior commented, "That's okay, Dad; but my pal Joe down the street says he comes from Omaha, and I just wanted to know where I came from."

- submitted by Diane M. Sickler, Parables, Etc. (January 1996)

Don't Want To Say No

Pastor Peter Wilkes of San Jose, California, includes President Theodore Roosevelt among his heroes, saying that Roosevelt was an interesting combination of St. Vitrus and St. Paul.  "He fired aphorisms at people:  Get action, do things, be sane, don't fritter your time away, create, act, be somebody."

Once after two sets of tennis with the French Ambassador, TR suggested jogging.  After the jogging there was an intense workout with a medicine ball.  The president, not even panting, slapped the suffering ambassador on the back and asked heartily, "What would you like to do next?"

"If it's all the same to you, Mr. President," replied the ambassador, "I would like to lie down and die."

- Robert J. Morgan, Preacher's Sourcebook Of Creative Sermon Illustrations (Thomas Nelson, 2007)

To Be Surrounded By People Who Love You

When my dad had died eight years earlier, Michael had stood by me. When the sympathy cards stopped coming and I began the terrifying freefall into grief, Michael had been my parachute. Now I stood vigil with him at his father’s deathbed.

I tried to look into Al’s eyes, which had always been playful. Under his silver eyebrows were dark circles; his lids were slightly open, but the eyes were rolled back and showed only white. Clear plastic tubing snaked from the wall to a mask covering his nose and mouth. The nurses said he might make it through the night, but they weren’t sure. His kidneys were shutting down.

Out in the shiny hospital hallway, laundry carts stood silent. It was deep past midnight, and we were alone: a son, a wife, a dying dad, a friend.

Hearing is the last sense to fade, so Michael and his wife, Stephanie, spoke to Al — beautiful, tender words. “I love you, Dad,” Michael said. “I’m here with you, and you won’t be abandoned. You won’t be left alone.”

“Thank you for all you’ve given us,” Stephanie added, holding his hand, which occasionally twitched. Al had always been generous, helping with school expenses or other needs. “Whenever you helped us and we said thank you, you just told us, ‘That’s what dads are for,’ ” Michael said. He paused and repeated, “That’s what dads are for.”

Death changes conversation. It strips away cheap social conventions and calls us either to be silent or to speak from the heart. In that room, the only words that seemed appropriate were the kind that were deep and clear and true. 

Death also changes the calculation. Whatever seemed so important during life — job or money or house or success — doesn’t matter now. When you’re in extremis, the most important thing, apart from being ready to meet God, is to be surrounded by people who love you.

 — Kevin Miller, LeadershipJournal.net 
(October 5, 2000)

Facing The Storm To Survive

A cowboy was once asked, "What important thing have you learned from your experience on the range?"

"The Herefords taught me one of life's most important lessons," he replied.  "We used to breed cattle for a living, but the winter storms would take an awful toll.  Again and again after a severe storm we would find most of our stock piled up against the fences, dead.  They would turn their backs in the icy blasts and slowly drift downward twenty miles until the fences stopped them.  There they just piled up and died.

"But the Herefords were different.  They would head straight into the wind and slowly walk the other way until they came to the upper boundary fence, where they stood still facing the storm.  We always found them alive and well.  They saved themselves by facing the storm!"

- Roy B. Zuck, The Speaker's Quote Book (Christian Literature Crusade 1997)

A Chance To Correct My Epitaph

In 1867, Swedish chemist Alfred Nobel awoke one morning to read his own obituary in the local paper: “Alfred Nobel, the inventor of dynamite, who died yesterday, devised a way for more people to be killed in a war than ever before. He died a very rich man.”

Actually, it was Alfred’s older brother who had died. A newspaper reporter had made a mistake. But the account had a profound effect on Alfred. He decided he wanted to be known for something other than developing a means to kill people efficiently and amassing a fortune in the process.

So Nobel initiated the Nobel Prize — an award for scientists and writers who foster peace. “Every man ought to have the chance to correct his epitaph in midstream and write a new one,” Nobel said.

 — Doug Murren and Barb Sharin, Is It Real When It Doesn’t Work? (Nelson, 1990)

Don't Just See The Black Dot

In his thirty-five years with the United Nations system, Kofi Annan has come to be known as an evenhanded man with an ability to see parts and the whole at the same time.  It is this quality that made him one of the more popular executives in the United Nations.

He recalls an unforgettable lesson learned in Ghana at age seventeen: One day our headmaster walked into the classroom and put up a broad sheet of paper with a small black dot in one corner.  "Boys," he asked, "what do you see?"

All of us shouted in unison, "A black dot!"

Then he said, "So not a single one of you saw the large white sheet of paper?  Don't go through life with that attitude."

- "The Peacemaker," Newsweek(December 1996)

True Forgiveness For Those Who Humble Themselves

Mark Strand tells of an experience that occurred following his first year of college.  His dad and mom had left for vacation, and Mark wrecked their pickup truck, crumpling the passenger-side door.  Returning home, he parked the truck.  When his dad returned home and saw the damage, Mark acted surprised and denied any knowledge of the accident.  Mr. Strand then asked the hired man about it, and to Mark's delight, the man admitted he was responsible.  He had heard a loud noise while passing the truck with the wings of the cultivator up, and now he assumed he had caused the damage.

But the weeks that followed were torturous as Mark struggled with his guilty conscience.  He repeatedly considered telling the truth, but was afraid.  Finally one day he impulsively blurted it out.

"Dad, there's something I need to tell you."

"Yes?"

"You know that pickup door?  I was the one who did it."

Dad looked at me.  I looked back at him.  For the first time in weeks I was able to look him in the eyes as the topic was broached.  To my utter disbelief, Dad calmly replied, "I know."

Silent seconds, which seemed like hours, passed.  Then dad said, "Let's go eat."  He put his arm around my shoulder, and we walked to the house, not saying another word about it.  Not then, not ever.

- Mark Strand, "I Couldn't Forget That Door," Decision (December 1996)

Letters Better Than Money

I ran short of money while visiting my brother, so I borrowed fifty dollars from him.  After my return home, I wrote him a short letter every few weeks, enclosing a five-dollar check in each one.  He called me up and told me how much he enjoyed the letters regarding the money I owed; I had never written regularly before.

Finally I sent off a letter and the last five-dollar check.  In my mailbox the next week I found an envelop from my brother.  Inside was another fifty dollars.

- Suzanne Attebery, submitted by Dicky Love, The Pastor's Story File (June 1995)

Incapable Of Being Grateful

A South African man surprised nine men who were robbing his home. Eight of the robbers got away, but the homeowner managed to shove one into his backyard pool.

After realizing the robber couldn’t swim, the homeowner jumped in to save him. Once out of the pool, the thief yelled to his friends to come back. Then he pulled a knife and threatened the man who had just rescued him.

The homeowner threw the thief back in the water.

 — Kashiefa Ajam, “Homeowner Threatened by the Robber He Saved,” Cape Times, 
Cape Town, South Africa (March 23, 2004)

Forgiving In The Midst Of The Dark Days

On the morning of October 2, 2006, Charles Carl Roberts barricaded himself inside West Nickel Mines Amish School. After murdering five young girls and wounding six others, Roberts committed suicide. It was a dark day for the Amish community of West Nickel Mines, but it was also a dark day for Marie Roberts, the wife of the gunman, and her two young children.

On the following Saturday, Marie went to her husband’s funeral. She and her children watched in amazement as Amish families — about half of the seventy-five mourners present — came and stood alongside them in the midst of their blinding grief. Despite the horrific crimes the man had committed against them, the Amish came to mourn Charles Carl Roberts as a husband and daddy.

Bruce Porter, a fire department chaplain who attended the Service, was profoundly moved: “It’s the love, the heartfelt forgiveness they have toward the family. I broke down and cried seeing it displayed.” He said Marie Roberts was also touched. “She was absolutely, deeply moved by the love shown.”

 — “Amish Mourn Gunman in School 
Rampage,” USA Today (October 7, 2006)

A Love That Is Short-Lived Yet Everlasting

Churchmen had been celibate for centuries, and John Calvin wondered if he, a first-generation Protestant, should break tradition.  "I am not yet married," he wrote.  "Whether I shall ever marry I do not know.  In any case, if I take a wife it will be that, freed from cares, I can consecrate myself to The Lord."

He fell in love at age thirty, but the marriage was called off.  His friend William Farel suggested another woman, but Calvin was unimpressed.  A third prospect looked promising, but Calvin was cautious.  "I will look very foolish if my hope gain falls through."

It did.  "I have not found a wife," he lamented, "and frequently hesitate as to whether I ought any more to seek one."  Suddenly he noticed a widow in his congregation, Idelette de Bure, who had been converted through his preaching.  He made frequent pastoral visits to her, and was smitten.  They quickly married.

Idelette proved an ideal pastor's wife.  She visited the sick, poor, and distressed.  She entertained visitors who came consulting her famous husband.  She furnished her table with vegetables from her own garden.  She bore patiently the loss of the couple's three infants.  She softened Calvin's hard edge and provided him joy.

When Idelette fell ill, Calvin anguished.  As the hour of death drew near, they talked about "the grace of Christ, the hope of everlasting life, our marriage, and her approaching departure."  Then he turned aside to pray.  Idelette suddenly cried "O glorious resurrection!  O God of Abraham and of all our fathers, the believers of all the ages have trusted on Thee and none has hoped in vain.  And now I fix my hope on Thee."  Having thus spoken, she died.  Calvin wrote to Farel on April 2, 1549, "Intelligence of my wife's death has perhaps reached you.  I do what I can to keep myself from being overwhelmed with grief.  My friends also leave nothing undone that may administer relief to my mental suffering."

John and Idelette enjoyed nine years together.  Never again did John Calvin seek a wife, for no one could replace his ideal Idelette.

- Robert J. Morgan, On This Day (Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1997)

We Do Need The Bumps

A little boy was leading his youngest sister up a steep mountain path.  The climbing was difficult, for there were many rocks in the way.  Finally, the little girl got very exasperated by the hard climb.

"This isn't a path at all.  It's rocky and bumpy," she complained to her brother.

"Sure," the brother replied.  And with a loving glance, he gave her these simple, yet wise words: "But the bumps are what you climb on."

- taken from Our Daily Bread

It Just Doesn't Belong To Me

A newlywed couple left a black-zippered case on the roof of their car as they sped away from the reception. The case had all their wedding gift money in it — $12,000. By the time they reached their honeymoon destination, they realized what they had lost. “I feel numb,” the bride said. “Overwhelmed.”

David Yi, who was unemployed and struggling to pay bills, found the black bag. He tracked the couple down and returned their satchel, with every dollar intact. When asked why he turned in all the money, Yi said, “I guess it doesn’t matter whether it’s $50 or $1,000 or $1 million. It doesn’t belong to me.”

 — “Fairy Tale Princess Story Turns Sour after Newlyweds Lose Money,” Daily Herald, 
Suburban Chicago, Illinois (February 20, 1996)

The Need To Ask And The Need For Answers

A father and his small son were walking one afternoon when the youngster asked how the electricity went through the wires stretched between the telephone poles.  "Don't know," said the father.  "Never knew much about electricity."

A few blocks farther on the boy asked what caused lightning and thunder.  "To tell the truth," said the father, "I never exactly understood that myself."

The boy continued to ask questions throughout the walk, none of which the father could explain.  Finally, as they were nearing home, the boy asked, "Pop, I hope you don't mind my asking so many questions..."

"Of course not," replied the father.  "How else are you going to learn?"

- submitted by Jay Martin, The Pastor's Story File (August 1992)

The Red Cross

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, creator of Sherlock Holmes, wrote a book on the history of the Great Boer War in which he tells of a small detachment of British troops who, overwhelmed by enemy forces, fell back under heavy fire.  Their wounded lay in a perilous position, facing certain death.  One of them, a corporal in the Ceylon Mounted Infantry, later told that they all realized they had to come immediately under the protection of a Red Cross flag if they wanted to survive.  All they had was a piece of white cloth, but no red paint,  so they used the blood from their own wounds to make a large cross on that white cloth.  The attackers repected that grim flag as it was held aloft, and the British wounded were brought to safety.

- quoted from Preacher's Sourcebook of Creative Sermon Illustrations (Thomas Nelson, 2007)

It's Also A Gift To Forget

A.J. has the most astonishing memory scientists have ever tested. She can replay decades of her life like a movie. Give her any date, and she can recall the day of the week, usually what the weather was like, personal details of her life at that time, and major news events that occurred.

After testing A.J. over the last six years, Dr. James McGaugh of the University of California at Irvine has decided that A.J. is not using mnemonic devices to memorize data; nor is she a savant with exceptional memory in one area. This foremost authority on memory can’t explain A.J.’s recall.

“The woman who can’t forget” simply says that she intensely feels each day and remembers trivial details as clearly as major events. Asked what happened on August 16, 1977, she knew that Elvis Presley had died. But she also remembered that a California tax initiative passed on June 6 of the following year, and a plane crashed in Chicago on May 25 of the next year.

A great memory is not all it’s cracked up to be. A.J. had to study for exams in school, struggled to memorize dates for history class, and still has to make a weekly grocery list. When asked if she considered her memory a gift, A.J. said, “Well, if I’m able to cure a disease, it’s a gift. But to remember, like, the end of every relationship — it’s hard.”

Perhaps the ability to forget should be considered a gift as well.

 — Michelle Trudeau, “Unique Memory Lets Woman Replay Life Like a Movie,”
 NPR’s Morning Edition (April 19, 2006)

Doing The Right Thing, And Doing It Right

University president and "management guru" Warren Bennis spent several years researching a book on leadership.  He traveled around the country spending time with ninety of the most effective and successful leaders in the nation--sixty from corporations and thirty from the public sector.  His goal was to find these leaders' common traits.  At first, he had trouble pinpointing any common traits, for the leaders were more diverse than he had expected.

But he later wrote: "I was finally able to come to some conclusions, of which perhaps the most important is the distinction between leaders and managers: Leaders are people who do the right thing; managers are people who do things right.  Both roles are crucial, but they differ profoundly.  I often observe people in top positions doing the wrong thing well."

The same can be said for most people.

- Warren Bennis, Why Leaders Can't Lead (Jossey-Bass, Inc., 1989)

Walk The Talk, That's What We're Looking For

A man in a rural county down south was campaigning for a seat in the Senate.  One rainy, miserable evening there was a knock on the door.  A man he didn't know stood outside, soaking wet.  "I need help," the man said.  "My car is stalled down the road.  Would you help me?"

"Sure," said the candidate.  When they reached the car, the owner got in and turned the key.  The car started up immediately.

"I don't understand," said the would-be senator.  "There was nothing wrong with your car."

The other man smiled.  "I know.  I also know that this state needs a good man up there in Washington," he explained.  "I just wanted to know if you were the kind of man I could vote for.  Now I know.  You've got my vote."

- Roy B. Zuck, The Speaker's Quote Book (Christian Literature Crusade, 1997)

Nothing To Fear When You're Prepared

Years ago a farmer owned land along the Atlantic seacoast.  He constantly advertised for hired hands.  Most people were relactant to work on farms along the Atlantic.  They dreaded the awful storms that raged across the Atlantic, wreaking havoc on the buildings and crops.

As the farmer interviewed applicants for the job, he received a steady stream of refusals.  Finally, a short, thin man, well past middle age, approached the farmer.  "Are you a good farmhand?" the farmer asked him.

"Well, I can sleep when the wind blows," anwered the little man.  Although puzzled by this answer, the farmer, desperate for help, hired him.  The little man worked well around the farm, busy from dawn to dusk, and the farmer felt satisfied with the man's work.

Then one night the wind howled loudly in from offshore.  Jumping out of bed, the farmer grabbed a lantern and rushed next door to the hired hand's sleeping quarters.  He shook the little man and yelled, "Get up!  A storm is coming!  Tie things down before they blow away!"

The little man rolled over in bed and said firmly, "No sir.  I told you, I can sleep when the wind blows."

Enraged by the old man's response, the farmer was tempted to fire him on the spot.  Instead, he hurried outside to prepare for the storm.  To his amazement, he discovered that all of the haystacks had been covered with tarpaulins.  The cows were in the barn, the chickens were in the coops, and the doors were barred.  The shutters were tightly secured.  Everything was tied down.  Nothing could blow away.  The farmer then understood what his hired hand meant, and he returned to bed to also sleep while the wind blew.

- Wayne Rice, Still More Hot Illustrations For Youth Talks (Christian Litereature Crusade, 1999)

Can't Hide The Truth

A man is sitting in his armchair when his wife comes up behind him and hits him over the head with a frying pan.

"What was that for?" he exclaims.

"I found a note in your trousers saying 'Gloria, 3:00 pm.'"

The husband quickly explains, "Gloria is the name of a horse that was running at 3:00 pm and I did not want to forget."

The wife apologizes and they make up.

A few days later, he is sitting there again when she comes and hits him with an even bigger frying pan and knocks him out cold.  When he comes round he exclaims, "What was that for?"

She replies, "Your horse just called."

- Craig A. Smith, Sermon Illustrations For An Asian Audience (OMF Literature, Inc, 2004)

Incomplete Healing

It is midnight in Israel, and three hundred worshipers gather in a floodlit enclosure as they thump tambourines and clap hands in the warm night. They sing ya’ase shalom, which means “he will make peace.” Though the words refer to God, the crowd thinks of another.

“I will clean the people,” says Rabbi Yaakov Ifargan, thirty-four, slinging candles into a brazier until the flame rises six meters and wax sizzles onto the dusty ground. Ifargan is the most prominent new leader in a wave of cabalistic mysticism sweeping Israel, particularly among the 60 percent of the population known as Mizrahis, those who have emigrated from North Africa and the Middle East. Ifargan is a tzaddik, a holy man.

Almost four hours into this ceremony, the rabbi turns to a row of followers confined to their wheelchairs sweating near the fire. “Are you a believer?” he asks. Gabriel Rafael, twenty-two, has multiple sclerosis. People in the crowd raise him by his arms. He takes a few steps, scuffing his feet through the dirt, then collapses into his wheelchair. Those around him wait to hear that a miracle has taken place. What they hear instead is Gabriel say, “I do feel stronger.”

 — Matt Rees, “Miracle Makers,” 
Time (September 25, 2000)

Lesson In Honesty Resounds Even Beyond The Classroom

My alma mater has an honor code that is respected throughout the university. Freshmen pledge to do their own academic work with integrity and to report those who do not to the student-run honor council.

Student signatures remain on display in the lobby of the Sarratt Student Center throughout their four years at the university. Alongside the signatures is a statement of the honor code as well as the words of the man for whom the building is named. Madison Sarratt, longtime dean of men at Vanderbilt University and a teacher in the mathematics department, died in 1978. He wrote, “Today I am going to give you two examinations, one in trigonometry and one in honesty. I hope you will pass them both, but if you must fail one, let it be trigonometry, for there are many good [people] in this world today who cannot pass an examination in trigonometry, but there are no good [people] in the world who cannot pass an examination in honesty.”

Sarratt’s former students still speak of the effect those words have had on their adult lives.

 — Gaynelle Doll, “The Nature of Virtue,” Vanderbilt Today (Summer – Fall 1999)

Keeping Each Other Afloat

In Guideposts magazine Donald Vairin of Oceanside, California, told of serving as a young hospital corpsman in the invasion of Guam during World War II.  Suddenly his boat came to a grinding halt.  They had hit a coral reef, and the commanding officer ordered everyone off the ship.

Donald jumped into the ocean and sank like a rock, his carbine rifle, medical pack, canteen, and boots dragging him down.  He forced himself to the surface, gasping for air, only to sink again.  He tried to pull off his boots, but the effort exhausted him, and he suddenly realized he wasn't going to make it.

Just then he saw a man thrashing in the water next to him, and in desperation he clutched onto him.  That proved enough to hold him up and get him to the reef where he was picked up by a rescue boat.  But Donald felt so guilty about grabbing the drowning man to save himself that he never told anyone what had happened.

About six months later, on shore leave in San Francisco, he stopped in a restaurant.  A sailor in uniform waved him over to sit with him, and as he did so he announced to his friends, "This is my buddy.  He saved my life."

"What are you talking about?" asked Donald.

"Don't you remember," said the man.  "We were in the water together at Guam.  You grabbed on to me.  I was going down, and you held me up."

- Donald Vairin, "His Mysterious Ways," Guideposts (September 1999)

Confined To The Belly

For several months a little boy had been watching his mother's stomach increase in size.  It was becoming harder and harder to sit on her lap.

"Mommy, why is your stomach getting so big?"

He was told that his little sister was inside her stomach.

"Mommy, why is my little sister inside your stomach?"

He was told that he used to be in her stomach too.

When the boy's father got home, the boy asked his father if he could talk to him in private.  They went to the boy's room.

"Daddy, I need answers to two questions:  First, why does Mommy keep eating little kids?  And second, how did I escape?"

- submitted by Fred Lowery, Parables, Etc. (December 1993)

A Perfect Time To Be Objective

In the early days of the Civil War, Robert E. Lee was severely criticized by General Whiting.  It might have been expected that Lee would seize any opportunity to get even with Whiting.  The opportunity presented itself when Jefferson Davis called Lee in for consultation.

Davis wanted to know what Lee thought of General Whiting.  Without hesitation Lee commended him in high terms and called him one of the ablest men in the army.  Afterwards, a fellow officer took Lee aside and wanted to know why he had not told Davis the things Whiting had said about him.

Lee answered, "It was my understanding that the President wanted to know my opinion of Whiting, not Whiting's opinion of me."

- Bits & Pieces (The Economics Press, Inc., 1996)

Hopelessness In The Midst Of All The Pleasure

According to Thomas Reeves in his book about John F. Kennedy, A Question of Character, JFK became very promiscuous after the deaths of his brother and sister, Joe and Kathleen.  Feeling that he hadn't long to live himself, he "accelerated his pursuit of pleasure.  Especially after Eunice moved out of the Georgetown house in 1948, girls went in and out of Jack's bed in such numbers that he often neglected to learn their first names, referring to them the next morning merely as "sweetie" or "kiddo."

"Jack confided a bit in one woman who resisted his advances... (She later wrote): 'During one of these conversations I once asked him why he was doing it--why he was acting like his father, why he was avoiding real relationships, why he was taking a chance on getting caught in a scandal at the same time he was trying to make his career take off.  He took a while trying to formulate an answer.  Finally he shrugged and said, "I don' know, really.  I guess I can't help it."'"

He spoke those words with a "sad expression on his face.  He looked like a little boy about to cry."

- Thomas C. Reeves, A Question of Character (The Free Press, 1991)